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Shear Le Boofont

OK. I won’t write a long drawn out defence of the film. I just want to say it was bloody good fun watching robots hit each other. Sure, there’s not enough of the actual Transformers in there, and Shia LeBoufont’s girlfriend cannot act and is a waste of time. And Patrick Dempsey is looking old and portly. But there are some important reasons why you have to see it;

1. The action is astounding. What they do to Chicago is mental and must be seen. Good, total annihilation of humanity. A little reigned in to get a kiddy friendly certificate but good stuff all the same.
2. John Malkovich is a mentalist. Just plain old mental. He didn’t just take the pay cheque and run. He took the pay cheque and used it as an excuse to be a nutter. The man deserves an Oscar. He’s like the living incarnation of the phrase “mad as a box of frogs”. Worth paying money for. The tan….the teeth….MY GOD!
3. You can see what’s going on. 3D helped Michael Bay clam the hell down and stop forcing people into epileptic fits every time a Decepticon breaks loose. Thank the Maker…
4. It just bloody Transformers. Leave your brain at the door and enjoy it. Don’t take it seriously…roll out.
5. Bay does manage to conjure up a sense of impending doom. You do think that the story’s protagonists are up for a good hiding and although you know they will come through it, they take a bit of a pasting. It’s silly stuff, but it is good silly stuff with a heart.

For a 32 year old man to think he had money well spent at the pictures watching superfluous guff of the highest calibre has to be a good thing, right?! And if it is any consolation, Shia LeBoofont has publically signed out of the prospect of any future TF movies. Well done butty! You made a good choice…

Richard Webster explaining the poor showing against New Zealand.

The understatement of the week comes from Wales Under 20s coach Richard Webster. Wales, in case you didn’t know, were utterly destroyed by the All Blacks 92-0 last Tuesday. Reported on the BBC website, Webster utters “The boys were understandably deflated immediately after the final whistle”. Wow. Really?!

He then continues “we never really got started in the game, but New Zealand are a formidable side that will take a lot of teams apart”. Maybe taking teams apart is what they did to Italy (64-7 in case you wondered) but at least Italy scored a try. New Zealand scored a point every 53 seconds against Wales!

“The positives are that we are still in the tournament, and with a bonus point win over Italy, we could still qualify for the top four.”. I think Italy will be fancying their chances if you ask me…

The New Zealand coach Mark Anscombe also had some gems such as “right across the park from nine to 15, they are all capable of finding gaps”. You sure about that? Think about this now….did the Kiwi’s really have to find gaps?

Check out the IRB website for more information on the damage done by the Kiwis or if you want to see some video interviews, visit the S4C website. There are some gems on there including one by John Kirwan. You’re not alone butt, I was expecting a bit more from Wales too!

The IRB Under 20′s World Cup continues with UK coverage on  S4C at some point in the future.

After that debacle, I finally got to see X-Men last night, and boy was it worth it. It is good. It is very good. After the majesty of Kick-Ass, I was confident that director Mathew Vaughn and writer Jane Goldman had the writing chops. Coupled with Bryan Singer back in a story and production role I was quietly confident. But they have knocked it out of the park with style and visual flare that you don’t normally see in the superhero genre.

The balance is spot on, with elements of action and comedy tempered with heartfelt drama and disturbing scenes of violence. I think this pushes the 12A certificate quite a bit with even a well timed ‘f’ word so be warned if taking weenies. The content is mature, and while the laughs temper the drama, when the director wants you to be unconfirmed he does not shy away. This starts right away in an extended scene from the first X-Men film where we discover the young Erik Lensherr in a Nazi concentration camp and does not let up in virtually throughout the entire film. That’s not to say it is bordering on horror or high drama, but this is far removed from Saturday morning cartoons.

I am a self confessed X-Men geek and to me, ‘First Class’ is X-Men to it’s core. That is how the comics are in characterisation and ethos, and after seeing it you realise the deficiencies of the previous three films. X1 and 3 aren’t bad films, and X2 is certainly the high point, but this blows it out of the water. I think this is helped by the period setting of the Cuban missile crisis and in a similar way to the Indiana Jones series, the globe trotting escapades of our characters seems rooted in an era gone by and are yet also timeless. Deft touches by Vaughn such as the split screen training sequence are engaging without looking camp, while the tonal variations and colour casts in other scenes add to the world that is depicted in a genuine, and not forced way.

Fassbender’s vengeful Erik plays perfectly opposite a idealistic Charles Xavier played by James McAvoy. This is not the same Professor X of the later movies though. Charles is young and has a whole world of potential before him and through the course of the film you understand how his character develops to make the decisions that are so pivotal to later events. In early scene;s, McAvoy is hilarious and thoroughly engaging.

McAvoy and Fassbender steal the show.

One criticism though is that we don’t see enough of Magneto hunting down the Nazi captors of his childhood, and I could have happily watched 90 minutes of this on it’s own. There is no room for it but these scenes are so good you just want more, with tension building superbly in a highlight scene where Fassbender travels to Argentina to confront two exiled Nazis.

But I would largely ignore the criticism of critics such as BBC’s Mark Kermode. The opening scenes featuring scantily clad women fit perfectly the sexist tone of the early sixties. And after this the amount of bare skin is kept to a minimum so I don’t see why this merits criticism…it is a plot device. The insinuation of showing skin for the sake of it is directly countered by the Emma Frost character in the movie, who shows disdain for the male objectification that she is party to.

Also, the influx of mutant characters has been commented as being to much, but again I would say the balance is spot on. You find out just enough of the main protagonists to enable them to add to the story without affecting the pace of the film, the only casualties appearing to be two of Kevin Bacon’s cadre (including the very red Azazel played by  Jason Flemyng).

I have to repeat, THIS IS X-MEN.and I find it hard to see how it could get better. But even if superhero flicks aren’t your thing, this stands solidly as an action adventure of the highest order. Roll on number 2….NOW!

5 out of 5

Dark of The Moon is released on July 1, 2011.

Pontypridd have between the stand out team by a fairly long margin considering the scale of  achievement this season. Semi finalists of the British and Irish Cup, and SWALEC Cup winners, no team has managed to have a ‘triple’ on at the end of the season. Despite a loss to Bristol in the BIC, Pontypridd stormed Aberavon in the Millennium Stadium two weeks ago.

Neath on the other hand have had a good but not great season which will disappoint them considering they are a professional team in all but name. Now divorced from the Ospreys, it’ll be interesting to see if they can stand on their own. And who they’ll play is a conundrum.

Neath have gained momentum due to some great bonus points this season. Pontypridd only lost once, but Neath had a few slip ups and yet are only a few points adrift from number one. It would only be fair for them to duke it out for the title if this perverse play off had to go ahead. But Llanelli put paid to that this week by giving the Welsh All Blacks a thumping.

A typical example of a Premier team ruled by the regions, Llanelli will either play exciting competitive rugby, or be listless and bland depending on who has been benched on the bloated mothership underpinned by favouritism that is Parc Y Scarlets.

If they turn up, they will give Pontypridd a tough game. But this is Pontypridd’s rebirth. A season where The House of Pain echoed the screams of all Welsh opposition who were unfortunate to run out. The crowds have been coming back in droves. Enough to shame the regions on a good day in fact, and there now seems to be the atmosphere where Pontypridd can get out from the shadow of the Blues. On Thursday, there will be one last outing for the black and white army this season and despite it being a Thursday (who decided that? Oh…S4C) I hope there will be a great turn out. The crowd can get behind the boys, singing every time the Sospans knock the ball on (which they will, and Dragons: stop nicking our songs!), and celebrating when the title officially belongs to Pontypridd.

Roll on next season…and get your season tickets early! C’mon the Pont!