I don’t know what everyone is getting het up about. Really….what do people expect TF2 to be? Some sort of intergalactic Shakespearean drama? I went to see it the other night and expected a few things:

• Robots. Big ones. Hitting each other.
• A straight forward narrative.
• A good laugh.

What did I get? All three. In spades. But for some people, this seems to be a problem and I am not sure why. I love Transformers…it is to all intents my childhood encapsulated and since seeing the first version of Bayformers, it is there. Has anyone actually watched the old cartoon series recently? Is the dialogue and plotline not truly appalling in places? I think so.

There’s only one animated TF which stands above the parapet as a solid piece of work that is the 1986 movie. I love that film and what I love about it is that it still has the heart of these characters, but in an ever so slightly serious setting. This is the same as the Michael Bay movies.

You cannot take this franchise seriously, it is by definition a big dumb movie, but that seems to embarrass people from going to see it and kicking back for a few hours. I crave more of this rubbish! Nay…demand it! It is a work of art at doing what big dumb Hollywood does best and should be regarded as such. These films will never be Lawrence of Arabia. Or Goodfellas. Or Jaws. They are what they are, and what that is they do that very, very well. The comparisons with “kids toys” making serious movies (a la The Dark Knight) are so way off the mark – Superman Returns in part bombed because people could not identify with it. Batman Begins was great because it set and identifiable tone. There is not such tone here – Transformers is like looking though a window into the House of Fun. People are tall and skinny and not at all realistic.

I think part of the problem is that some “critics” (e.g. Mark “Pompoused Windbag” Kermode) have to see this film to offer a critique. And they don’t want to. They know it isn’t going to be right for them; but they are not the target demographic. But they seem incapable of offering anything other than their own perspective. Some critics say stuff along the lines of “well…if you liked the first you might like this” while other basically cast you out of the sensible public peer group and point fingers. There is nothing abhorrent about TF2. Nothing over the top offensive; sure there’s a dash of misogyny there, and frequent use of certain stereotypes but some people claiming the Twins are racist is plain stupid. And even the fact that Shia Lebeof’s college class seems to be comprised of the most “attractive” people possible is nothing that High School Musical doesn’t portray anyway. I wish these people would get a grip and stop taking blatant stupidity seriously.

That’s the film in a nutshell: two and a half hours of blatant stupidity. And I thought my £6.90 admission was bloody well spent. If you want a good ride then see it. If you are offended by big dumb explosions…stay away. Roll on Transformers 3.